How to lose weight??

How to lose weight.. Nuskha (idea) # 424

Get a horrible cold, with watering eyes and flowing nose and a strong series of sneezes.

You will end up running to the wash basin 40 times in 4 hours and the farther the wash basin, the more calories you burn and hence the more weight you lose.

PS: If you can add bloody red eyes and a swollen red nose (not too tough) to the above scenario, you will appear mentally deranged and dangerous enough for you to not wait in the queue for the wash basin.

Horror in Hong Kong

The title almost sounds like one of the titles of the Felu-da stories by Satyajit Ray - the first volume of which i finished a couple of days ago. However, unlike Felu-da, there is no mystery here. Just a sordid tale of incompetent service providers.

Most of you know that I had taken a short vacation (or shall i say had hoped to take one!!) beginning of December. Had gone to Pangkor in Malaysia, followed by Hong Kong and Macau. What i am going to write about is the return from Macau to India which was one my worst ever travelling experiences.

It all started when we (Mahesh - my colleague, myself and our respective pregnant wives) decided to take the ferry from Macau directly to Hong Kong's Chek Lap Kok Airport. Usually we would have taken a ferry to Hong Kong island and then taken the train to the airport. This time we said - "No point in dragging the luggage and the ladies to the main island and then to the airport. Might as well go straight to the airport by the direct ferry."

Little did we know how much we would rue this decision of ours.

When we reached the airport, we realised there were dedicated check-in counters at the ferry terminal there. It was not a full-service check-in section, but one where the major airlines, like Qantas, were doubling up as service providers to the other airlines as well. One could not get into the airport without checking-in for your flight from here. Unlike most international airport terminals (including the main terminals at HKIA), this was a very very bare terimnal. It had no facilities for drinking water, no place to get any sort of food. Fortunately, it had loos and even some chairs (albeit plastic chairs!!).

Anyways, all this would have been irrelevant and inconsequential, if not for our sordid tales of agony and misery.

We went to the counter to check ourselves in, all the way to India via Kuala Lumpur, and stood in the Qantas queue (as they were the check-in agents for Malaysian). The ladies, in their excitement (after all we had discussed that we would check out the shops at the airport and do some shopping), decided to stand in the security queue, even as we were trying to check ourselves in. Their glee was shortlived as we soon realised that there was a problem with our tickets. We were travelling Malaysian Airlines throughout and the lady said she couldn't give us a through check-in.

Reason - We did not have a reservation on Malaysian Airlines for the KL - Mum sector.

On further querying, we discovered that the Kl - Mum flight was a code share flight between Malaysian and Air India. And while the rest of our tickets were booked on Malaysian, this sector was booked on Air India. And since this was an extension terminal and the Qantas check-in counter was not able to see our bookings on the Malaysian system. Hence no through check-in.

You might wonder what the big deal in this was. We could always go to KL and then get the check-in for the next sector. Problems -

• there was only a 1 hour transit time between the two flights;
• to check in for the next flight there meant we had to go through immigration and then check-in;
• we did not have Malaysian visas to go through immigration and to get visa on arrival would mean atleast 1 hour of standing in the queue.

Add to this issues such as collecting and checking-in baggage again. It would have been bad and impossible enough even in normal circumstances. Given that we had two pregnant and tired ladies in tow, it was IMPOSSIBLE.

The only thing that went in our favour was that we had some 4 hours before the flight and we were carrying some fruits and water with us.

So we spent the next 3 hours on the phone on international roaming with our completely imcompetent and imbecile of a travel agent and an equally stupid and unhelpful Malaysian Airlines staff in Mumbai. They kept telling us that we had confirmed tickets and there was no problem, and everytime the check-in staff kept telling us that they could not see our reservation.

The check-in staff gave us instructions on what the agency/airline ("imbeciles") should do and we conveyed the same promptly to the parties concerned. The imbeciles kept telling us that they had put the instructions saying that we had confirmed tickets from KL - Mum on Malaysian Airlines, and the check-in staff kept telling us they could see no instruction. The imbeciles told us Air India had confirmed the tickets, but the staff here could stillnot see the same.

In the meanwhile, the Qantas staff faxed out ticket copies to the airline office in KL to see if they could sort out the matter, spoke multiple times to the airline staff at HK and so on. They understood our situation and were sympathetic to the fact that we had two pregnant ladies (to which they promptly got us to fill imdemnity forms), but were not able to do much given the situation.

Finally after a lot of effort, we were told that the instructions had come through. As we submitted our tickets again for the boarding passes, we found out that only Surabhi and my tickets had come through. Mahesh and Ramya were still waitlisted on the KL-Mum sector.

Another round of calls and finally some hard talk followed with the imbeciles. By this time the airline staff in Mumbai had stopped picking up our phones, and the airline manager even had the audacity to tell us that he was out of the office and we should contact the office as he could do nothing.

The agency staff kept assuring Mahesh that he should board the flight to KL and they would make sure the issue was sorted out by the time we landed there. Their dilemma was the same as I mentioned above on taking the flight to KL without having the through check-in.

Mahesh contemplated not taking the flight at all and going to the city and spending the night there while they got another reservation. However, when we found out that we could not enter Hong Kong from this terminal (and would have to go back to China or Macau and from there go to HK), the decision was made.

The agent once again assured us that Mahesh and Ramya would get their onward boarding passes at KL and that they should board the flight. So we checked-in all the luggage in Surabhi and my name (as their luggage would not have been through checked-in otherwise)and ran to get the flight.

The ladies had so far been sitting on plastic chairs for a good 3 hours withiut proper food and with a lot of stress. They were tired and hungry and pained out of their wits.

As we got into the airport, we asked them to go to the boarding gate while Mahesh and I ran to get some food for them. The only highlight of the day was the desi bhindi rice that I got in a multi-cuisine restaurent, which turned out to be better than what we have ever seen at most places in India as well.

To add to insult to injury, our HK-KL flight was delayed by 30 mins, further adding to Mahesh's tensions since now the transit time would be even further reduced. Even at the boarding gate we tried a lot to see if the problem could be sorted out before we boarded the flight, but despite all the helpfulness of the staff, it was to no avail.

The only benefit of the flight delay was the fact that the ladies could eat all the food we had got for them, comfortably and peacefully.

We had mentally prepared ourselves that Mahesh and Ramya would have to spend the night in the transit hotel at KL and would only be able to take the next flight thereafter to India.

If all the pain and torture was not enough, on the HK - KL flight we found out that our Veg food order was not recorded with them and hence they did not have veg food for us. I was so pissed mad that it is not funny at all.

Anyways, the aircraft happened to have some ready-to-eat Indian veg food (I wonder how as this was a HK-KL flight and had no India connection except idiots like us travelling by it) and somehow we ate some parts of it and survived the flight. The bhindi-rice and the other food we had earlier turned out to be a real saviour.

On the flight we kept discussing the various options on reaching KL airport. As soon as we landed, Mahesh ran to the front of the aircraft to get out quickly and get the extra two mins to sort out the mess.

Anyways, the suspense ended at KL when as soon as we got out of the aircraft, Mahesh asked the ground-staff for directions to the transit counters and by the way discovered that he was holding their boarding passes.

Our KL-Mum flight again got delayed because some blessed Indian film stars decided to display their stardom and hence boarded the flight in their own sweet time. Just in case you are curious about who these are - Sunil Shetty, Riya Sen and some other jokers. I don't think we even noticed the fact that the food on this flight was HORRIBLE as we were so firmly focused on getting our feet back on Indian soil and getting back home.

Finally we reached Mumbai airport at some 10:30 - 11:00 pm and breathed a sigh of relief.

What an ending to what a trip (that's another story for another day!!)

It does not rain...

... it pours!!!

Since the time Surabhi and I found out that we were going to have a baby, we have heard of so so many of our peers and associates who are going through the same phase in life.. Including my boss and my colleague.. such that the three of the four of us on our team, are going to have our wives delivering within a span of 6 weeks!!

Then there are the SRCC people.. notably Amit/Smita.. Its a little difficult to imagine Smita as a mother... Even today i can think of only as a kid herself.. I am sure though, others also might have similar thoughts about Surabhi and me.

Then there are friends like Rishi who's wife Manisha is delivering a couple of weeks ahead of Surabhi.. Chetan's wife has delivered a couple of months ago..

As if this was not enough, just heard today that two of my friends from IIMA are on the same path.. One has become a dad a couple of days ago.. and the other is two months behind us.. his wife also being an IIMA batchie of mine...

It certainly does not rain.. it pours!!

All risk.. little reward

In general, I have quite enjoyed my Private Equity job. It has a lot of elements which i find quite interesting and am keen to learn and master. There is one element, however, which is the most difficult and frustrating part of this whole job.

"There's plenty of slip between the cup and the lip," is the proverb that sums it up best. One can slog one's butt off working on a transaction and sort through all the difficult issues - getting the better of the seller's greed (including telling him that you wont pay for his underwear just becuase he has to stay overnight to conclude the discussions; telling your investment committee why this is the perfect deal in post-1991 India and why it will not blow up in your face the day after you remit the money; screaming away at the lawyers for not getting the documents out on time or screwing them up; arguing with the diligence teams when they try to fight issues when there are none (after all this is the perfect deal!!); and last but not the least, fighting your own demons as you are going to deploy $20-30 mn of your investors' money on your own judgment (and how flawed that is, no one knows better than you!!).

And just when you have done all this and are ready to celebrate the completion of yet another deal (and these occasions are hard to come by indeed..), someone catches a cold somewhere. That one sneeze queers the whole pitch. Suddenly, all the existential doubts start emerging and you find questions like - Why am I here? What is my mission on earth? What do you want? Why should I give this to you? I do not like his face? - and so on.

Such is the situation I am in right now. Its Christmas and New Year's eve. I could be sitting at home and enjoying the yule-tide (with deal not closed), or burning the midnight oil and accomplishing a hard fought, yet well earned victory.

Its a difficult choice.

Entering the new phase

I have been rather busy the last couple of weeks with lots of work and travel and a bit of family too. I have had multiple thoughts in my mind that I have been wanting to share with the good souls who do make it a point to check out this page once in a while. However, just have not been able to. Apologies for that.

My college group is going through yet another revolution in their lives – one that will permanently change each of our lives. Just a quick reflection on the earlier revolutions that we have gone through (and mind you, I am not promising something that will make you sit up and take note as I am sure each of you have gone through or will go through this phase sometime in life).

The first big change post our college (SRCC) life was clearly the initiation of each of us into the corporate world, a world of ambitions, effort, money and power. Yet, the revolution for us was not so much in these things as for the first time having the ability to spend without thinking ten times over about each Rs 100 we spend.

The second big change was when each of us started to get married. For the first time we had to start thinking of another person as an integral part of anything one did. Not only did it impact the individual, it also impacted the group dynamics. We had to put up with people like Amit for the sake of our dear friend Smita (haha.. sorry Smita.. could not resist the opportunity) and lo and behold, over time we actually managed to do so with a reasonable bit of finesse and elan. The group dynamic changed from individuals to couples each of whom often wanted to do different things at different times. As a group, I think, we managed to get past this stage also reasonably well.

Just as we thought we were stablising after the seond revolution, we are now being faced with the third revolution. The age of the babies. Two among the group are already on their way, and no soothsaying this, but I am sure the others will also follow suit over the next 1-3 years or so. Life will be about having separate families within the group who need to be able to co-exist and be comfortable with each other. Places we can go for holidays will get impacted by kids, things we can do when together will be determined by kids, time we will get to be together will be determined by the same.

As all of us move forward and embrace this new change, I wish us all the best and look forward to more of the next generation!!!